I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
