matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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