dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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