She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He passed out mid-signature
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
