ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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