mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
