You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize