The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
