I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
