beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
