on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
