After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
