What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
