Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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