you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
