hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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