so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
