her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
