so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
