Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
