Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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