Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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