He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
