How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
