Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
