Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
