You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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