this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
