you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We had sex on a dog bed..
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
