3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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