And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize