I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
