I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Where is the hickey?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
