Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
