No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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