is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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