He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
