Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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