She is in my trunk
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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