oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
wow bdsm is so cute
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
