Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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