is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
