I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
