Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Let's paint friendship bongs
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping