Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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