she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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