Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
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