My first STD was from a foam party
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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