ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
