Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
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There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
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Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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