I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
