Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
