My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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