Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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