i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
