My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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