The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
