my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize