remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
