I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
