Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
